A funny old life....

So what do you do after you have coped with your NHS administered death sentence. Once you have picked yourself up, accepted the premise, tried to unstick your melted head and deal with the people around you (badly as it turned out in my case) - what do you do.....

You try to find purpose and reason to continue to get up in the morning.

You aim for things that you will be able to do soon, and push yourself until you can. You aim for other things, further away in time, more ambitious.

You lose your fear of death........

I one sense, this is a liberating opportunity, a chance to go and see things, meet people, that I would not otherwise have been liable to make the time to see.

Unfortunately, my support group has exploded.

My son is leaving home soon, as is right and proper - he has his own way to make in the world.

My ex wife is now with my best friend (or the man I thought to bestow that title on).

I must sell my house. I shall buy a narrowboat and live on that, spend the rest of my time out and about, abroad.

Of all the mistakes I made over the last few weeks, an email sent on the 3rd of September is probably the worst. I cut off the link with someone I loved, someone who loved me. There was little chance, it seemed to me, that anything material would come of it that would benefit her - who needs to be in love with someone who is going to die soon and who cannot be with you, it just makes it harder - so I bit the bullet, pulled the plug, called it off. Better for her, I thought. The right thing to do, my conscience told me.

Stupid bastard.