I am still positive about my future but it appears to have changed shape, somewhat, over time.
I am in love, but it appears to be of the unrequited variety and my health is not what it was. I am tied to healthcare. The progress of this disease under treatment is an imponderable - effect and duration varies so much, but this variety of prostate cancer is extremely aggressive. I simply have no way of knowing when it will strike me for the next, and probably last time.
My friend/business colleague and my wife are now "an item". I see much less of them and some of his actions have been rather, shall we say, insensitive and cruel - especially with regard to their timing.
My son is leaving home....
I have really no support group to speak of.
I must therefore learn to rely wholly and solely upon myself for my physical, mental and emotional needs.
It is definitely time to leave Rugby. The place has some pleasant memories but these seem to remind me even the more of what has been lost. The rest of the memories associated are not so pleasant.
The house is being cleared next week. The skip(s) will be here the week after and I will dress it for sale. It goes on the market the week after. Hopefully it will sell quickly.
A Funny Old Life
Keep writing... it doesn't matter if others read it or not but they will. And if you dared yourself to share all that is happening to you I strongly believe you will help not only yourself but others too.
ReplyDeleteProstate cancer is something that does not seem to get talked about..
What were your symptoms? How long did you ignore things? What were your thoughts at that time? How did it get diagnosed? What was the advice you were given - not only from doctors but from friends and acquaintances too? What made you decide to take the path of treatment you have? What are you doing to support yourself?
These and so many more questions.. that you could be speaking about in your perfect raw and eloquent way can be your gift.
What you write doesn't have to be pretty.
Just shout it like it is.
Cry, feel, observe and yes, laugh.
For you WILL see start to see and hear things other than the torment going on in your mind if you start to open up.
With much love.
Sarah xxx